(Review written by Maria Housden)
INCAPITATED, by Evelyn Dahab is a haunting, sexually graphic memoir of sex, power, money, and control. Told in the third person (the protagonist is only referred to as 'she'), it is the true story of a young, beautiful Ivy-league graduate who is emotionally and sexually paralyzed by the vices of one of New York City's wealthiest bachelors, an oddly compelling man more than twice her age. Seduced by Mitchell's copious wealth and mesmerized by the power he wields, she is swept into a world of private jets, spur-of-the-moment jaunts to exotic locales, extravagant meals, luxurious accommodations, and designer clothes. But as his manic-depression, alcoholism, and obsessive need to control her morphs into sadistic abuse and sexual deviancy, Mitchell forces her to earn her keep by soliciting other women for perverted sex acts, and his dark soul begins to draw out the darkness in hers.
Dahab is fearless as a writer, and she skillfully navigates the fine line between pornography and art. To read her story is to catch a glimpse of a rare bird. Her wry sense of humor and poetically precise phrasing give voice to experiences, disturbing and sensual, that others have no words for. Her descriptions of the sights and smells of some of the world's greatest cities, including the sumptuous meals that she and Mitchell share, seduce the reader into wanting to experience more, even as her relationship with Mitchell becomes darker and more twisted.
Twice institutionalized during the course of their 15-month relationship, Dahab allows the reader to see where she is blind to her faults, and the reader forgives her, because what she does notice is fascinating. Her use of the third person perspective is more than a clever device; it allows the story to be told as an awareness divorced from the body, which is how many survivors describe their experience. Although there is a sense of being a voyeur in Mitchell's paranoid and sexually-obsessed world, as the reader becomes equally repulsed and compelled to see what will happen next, Dahab's direct and unselfconscious way of describing her experience gives us permission to linger and gape in her most erotic and vulnerable moments.
INCAPITATED is a passionate and powerful memoir that allows us to see our lives and the lives of others in a new light. It reminds us that our fantasies can mask darker realities, and those who are the most seductive often have the most to hide. It challenges us to recognize the shadow inside us that only needs the right context to reveal itself, and it gives us a renewed sense of compassion for those who struggle with mental illness, abusive relationships, addictions, and self-hatred. The story, which spans the fifteen months between their first and last meeting, is a compelling mixture of the most beautiful, erotic, and tragic. INCAPITATED's redemption is not found in a neatly-wrapped happy ending, but rather in its recognition of the resiliency of the human spirit, the part of us that remains untouched by suffering, and its capacity to embrace life's unanswered questions.
